sun in your eyes

I was in Berlin for five days. It was a lovely place. I think I'm going to want to go there again. So many things I didn't see and even more things that I want to see again. I didn't discover anything new there except for perhaps that I don't necessarily need to. I should just keep on doing what I do. And get a job. And live a life like the one I want. And I'm ready to take on my every day life now. I wasn't sure before. But I went there and I didn't die yet. So I'm ready.

I did take pictures. Now I'm no photographer, but I still want to show some.






It's now time for silent yet pleasant autumn times of settled, bitter sadness that makes me smile in the 'don't laugh at me don't look away' kind of way. I've been listening to music and trying to find the music in me again.

when trouble thinks it's found us
the world falls down around us

like a french movie

[And again, Vilma shows her skills and leaves me looking miserable. Now I'm referring to the previous post. Oh well. Nice photos, girl. You're brilliant.]

In chess, it's called Zugzwang, when the only viable move is not to move.

Today's been a weird, slow day. I've laughed and cried and tried to study and sat in a metro train feeling a bit senseless, like not knowing which muscle to move next. I've been with my friends and loved them more than ever, even if that's not possible. I've been sitting down, doing nothing and wondering about the biscuits on the floor and feeling just fine, like that's all I'd need to do. I've been stripped of stress. It's a relief.

You have to make the right choice. As long as you don't choose, everything remains possible.

I saw a movie that easily ranks as one of the best ones that I've seen, Mr. Nobody. It really made me cry (and some of the actors were really fucking hot, even some that weren't Jared Leto). I don't think I'd have gone to see it alone. This is where the friends come in again. The movie was the kind where the plot doesn't matter but the message and the themes that are talked about. It was mainly about time, choices, a big mess of answering the age old question of 'what if'. It's a foolish game we play, and this movie was about that as well. About how every choice is equal, and of every choice comes something good and something bad. And how coincidence plays part in how things go. And how, really, you can't change things afterwards. If you make a wrong choice, you can only try and make it better.

Before he was unable to make a choice because he didn't know what would happen. Now that he knows what will happen, he is unable to make a choice.



Most of the time nothing happened... like a French movie.

we are trees

Ora che arriva l’inverno e noi siamo gli alberi,
senza le foglie e i colori pronti a proteggerci

Simone Cristicchi - Come la neve

we broke but we rich at heart

A general note: I totally approve of Florence + The Machine. The Dog Days Are Over was also featured in Skins, in the 4th episode of the 3rd series. About the movie whatnot I know nothing. Either way, if you haven't ever watched Skins, please do so now before you grow dead inside. Because of the music if not otherwise. I made a series 3 playlist in Spotify (and will make playlists of the rest of the show, too), but have no idea how to share it, advice needed! I've found so many brilliant artists by just watching telly and movies (for example Bon Iver, Passion Pit, Wilco, Elbow, Alela Diane, Adele, The Smiths, Regina Spektor...) that I can't but recommend you to please find the playlists for your favourite tv shows and films, you'll like what you find!

Right now I feel like lying on the floor with a friend, drinking wine and listening to music and talking. Or waiting until it's dark and then go for a walk and take odd pictures by the sea. Or that kind of generally unnecessary shit that makes you feel good.



I really like driving. It's weird because it's calming even though it gets me totally freaked out. It's the closest I'll probably ever get to feeling like I'm flying. Because, funnily enough, in a plane I never feel like flying. And also, the fact that you could end everything by just turning a wheel, but you never do, makes you feel like you're important after all in a very lovely way.

saturday night

Florence + The Machine are awesome. Their song Dog Days are Over was in a trailer of a movie Eat Pray Love.
But tonight I'm going to Painobaari to see the Firsts, Suomen Zorro & Elämänpaineet and One of the Pigeons. I've only heard One of the Pigeons before but I'm really interested to hear the others too. But apparently I'm going alone unless there's someone who'd like to join me. I'll have fun alone too but it'd be nice to go with someone.